The real reason.
The real reason I put myself through all this. All the starving, all the teeth whitening and sore teeth, all the OCD face washing, hand scrubbing, teeth brushing, cleaning, all the hiding, all the secret tears, all the stories, all the makeup, all the money spent on shoes and clothes, is because of a fear. A fear of losing. A fear of not being the best. A fear of being replaced, of not being noticed. I want to be the best. I want to be the skinniest, the prettiest, the classiest, the most perfect, the one people like. I can’t be second best. I never ever ever thought I would say this, but now that I have a boyfriend, I’m scared that his ex had skinnier legs than I do. I’m scared that she might have better teeth or be a better kisser than I am. Her hair was blonder, her legs were skinnier, she was more perfect. What if he changes his mind? The idea terrifies me. Please help.
